Walking in the Rain

This Story

2009-10-16T18:20:00.000+01:00

This girl can pick more than thirty things wrong with her. This boy can’t find a single fault. This girl thinks very little about herself. This boy thinks she’s perfect. This girl wishes she was someone else everyday. This boy wishes he was with her. This girl believes no one will ever love her for herself. This boy can only imagine loving her.

Scarlet looked into the mirror desperately trying to push her stomach out and hide the ribs and concaved shape of her purposely starved figure. She looked deeply into her sombre eyes that shone against the dull tone and dehydrated skin that were her face. Her crinkled, chapped lips stood expressionless in the middle of her slim and underfed face. The skin on her arms hugged close to her bones which created the frail image of which she is.

With a confused expression she stepped away from the mirror and worked her way towards her plain and personality lacking room in which a single bed and a cupboard of clothes sat. On the right of her bed was a small table with a lamp and a bottle of water on it and two shelves that contained books that looked as though they had never been touched. Scarlet lifted her school bag off her bed and walked out the front door without giving breakfast a thought.

As she walked through the school gates and joined a crowd of pretty, confident girls, Scarlet ignored her hunger and happily kicked away the pathetic worries of the world with her eager conversation and sparkling personality.

As lunch came about the crowd of tall, beautiful girls migrated to the lunch room where they were joined by a crowd of tall, gorgeous guys that were built on muscle. Scarlet walked right past the food counters and straight to the table where she sat on one of the guys lap, Luke. Luke wrapped his arms around her and hugged her close to him.

“I can feel your bones Scar.” He whispered into her ear and her expression dropped. He lifted a chip from his plate and fed it to the reluctant girl who felt ashamed and humiliated. Luke could feel the tension of the mood change and fell quiet as he dropped the subject and left the food alone.

When school finally ended Luke walked out of the building and across the jungle of people to a bench he knew Scarlet would wander past. When Scarlet finally passed him he grabbed hold of her arm and pulled her to sit on the wooden bench beside him.

“Why?” he asked her delicately.

“Why what?” she irritably spat out at him.

“I don’t understand… you’re perfect… Do you want to die? Don’t you care about yourself?”

“I’m not perfect. No one’s perfect.”

“You never answered the question Scar. Don’t you care about yourself?” he questioned.

“No one’s perfect.” she repeated. She stood up and walked out of school without a glace back at the blond, grief-stricken boy.

Scarlet crossed the road slowly, wishing a car would hit her. Scarlet walked down each and every side street, yearning for someone to attack her. Scarlet ran across the park, hoping to drop from food deprivation.

Scarlet returned home disappointed. Scarlet passed the kitchen with depression painted on her face. Scarlet walked up to her room thinking there was nothing left for her. Scarlet reached behind her bed thinking there was no escape. Scarlet took out a plastic bag of white dusty pills knowing what she wanted. Scarlet took the water from the table by her bed and peacefully cleared her mind. Scarlet whispered, Scarlet slept, Scarlet left the world.

This girl could pick more than thirty things wrong with her. This boy couldn’t find a single fault. This girl thought very little about herself. This boy thought she was perfect. This girl wished she was someone else everyday. This boy wished he was with her. This girl believed no one would ever love her for herself. This boy could only imagine loving her. This girl passed away, unhappy, unloved, unappreciated. This boy still wishes he’d had the chance to tell her.

-Eggy Mayers, wanna be writer.

Random Thoughts

2009-09-27T10:30:00.003+01:00

If I close one eye and leave one open, I see a universe. If I close the eye I had open and now open the one I closed first, would it be the same universe in a different view? Or a new universe altogether?

There's a thought, what if we were only made yesterday and God had put very explicit memories in our mind, but it was all a lie?

Stephen William Hawking wrote a book called 'A Brief History of Time.'

It is said that out of the 100% of people who buy it, 90% put it down after the first 10 pages and only 10% finish the book. It's said to be too intellectually challenging and boring for some minds to cope with.

But he actually touched up on a topic I'm really interested in: time travel.

Hawking said that time isn't linear as we believe it is. That time doesn't travel in a straight line from past to present and then to the future, but that time is parallel. Therefore every second of every day is in parallel lines right next to each other and to travel across time you'd have to jump from line to line. Not traveling straight down a line as it is thought.

How can we prove this? Well, at the moment we can't. At least I can't.

I don't really know whether I believe him or not. Whether we can really jump from time to time at all. But time travel is possible.

If you go into a space ship and orbit the earth then for you, by the time you're 70 year old and have been orbiting the earth, you would have lost a year on earth. And if you had spent your time on earth, you would have been 71.

So is that our key to time travel?

-Eggy Mayers, wanna be writer.

Letter To Whom I Love

2009-09-21T07:54:00.003+01:00

Dear Johnny, Zacy, Jane, Robert, Leebee, Jacy, Brandon, Jeffy, Cammy, Isaac, Molly, Beth... and coffee.

Stay in my life forever.

With love, Tati.

-Eggy Mayers, wanna be writer.

I Saved A Kitten And I Love Him

2009-08-21T20:37:00.005+01:00

Sometimes I feel retarded...

Then I know that's okay because I have retarded friends. =)

Here's a perfect example.

(From an email)

Aimee:

Our DEAD child. Insensitive to bring it up! You're selfish! You don't THINK about my feelings. The child was INSIDE me... ='(

*Outburst of tears* You! *stutter* Y-y-y-you selfish COW *said with spit*.

*Takes out retainer to spit some more.* Take that! *Hhhhu puuuu!* and this! *Hhhhhhhu puuu!*

*Does retarded innocent smile that says, 'I don't know any better because I'm retarded.'*

=D I LOVE YOU BITCH!!!!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX (Too lazy to even copy and paste but imagine more XO's) <---- THAT is how much my fingers love you.

I just want to say how much I love my friends.

Even though right now I'm falling to pieces;

Look like I've been hit by a truck;

And have a very rough, rigid, broken, shattered heart, you're all sticking by me.

Thank you for everything.

My family, and my friends.

Tar you can go to hell. =)

On another note... a prettier, more high-pitched one...

I saved a kitty yesterday!

I'll take my most amazing persons award now. (I'm serious -_-)

I was walking on the beach and this guy comes out with a baby kitten in a plastic bag and is about to drown it!

I started yelling at him but he threw the bag into the ocean anyway...

But I swam and got the baby kitten.

Me and him spent 4 hours on the beach until 12am at night. He was just lying on my belly sleeping and I was talking to him.

Like a crazy person who paints a face on a rock... but I did it more efficiently as I had an animal!

Anyway, here's a picture of Baby Jonathan, the kitten who's taken over and mended part of my heart.

He doesn't really like being photographed...

It's nice having a friend who doesn't judge you, know what's happened. But understands nevertheless.

One who comes and purrs on your belly when you cry and whatnot.

I wish I could keep him.

Back to Tar...

My ex I suppose. Who cheated on me with the same girl he kissed 'by accident' that one time a while ago. But this time he went ALL THE WAY.

I wish him the best when he burns in hell.

I can't decide which hurt me most.

1. Being the last person to find out you cheated on me.

2. The fact you actually cheated on me.

3. That I fell for you. And actually may have loved you.

Like B would say, "C'est la vie, une folle pute."

"That's life, a crazy bitch."

I guess I haven't really decided if I'm full of loss or hatred.

Can I stay in between?

I already spent a couple of days crying over you. That was until I realised how unworthy you are of my tears.

I think I'm done for today. Sorry for not blogging in a while.

It's time for a shower.

-Eggy Mayers, wanna be writer.

Three Weeks Gone

2009-07-19T05:20:00.001+01:00

I hate goodbyes, I don't get why people say them.

I'm an awful flyer. I hate planes, turbulence, flying, the whole lot.

I'm scared to be away from home. I'm scared to be away from Bella. I'm scared.

I'm nervous I won't hear from people. I'm nervous something will go wrong.

I know I'll love it as soon as I'm gone.

I'm just scared.

I'm going to miss everyone so much, and it scares me.

I'm worried I'll get in a fight with Tar, and I'll be lonely.

But, I'll be back in three weeks... right?

Nothing will go wrong. I'll see everyone in three weeks.

I hope... nothing goes wrong.

I love my family, I'll miss you all.

Take care bloggers.

I'll try and email some more blogs now and then.

-Eggy Mayers, wanna be writer.

Rere Frog

2009-07-18T21:29:00.005+01:00

You may have noticed on the right on my blog is my lovely frog.

As slow and retarded as he is, he is my pride and joy and I love him so very much.

But other than 'rere frog' he doesn't have a name. =(

Let's tell you a bit about him though!

He was born less than a month ago.

He eats flies that even you can feed him by clicking around the place.

He's slow.

And dopey.

He's loved.

I swear to God, I see that frog everyday and he makes me smile every time.

I'm going to miss him so much these next three weeks!

I hope he takes care of himself.

I love him so terribly much that I even got a tattoo at the zoo after him. *Blush*

I love you little internet, robotic, retarded, cute blog frog.

-Eggy Mayers, wanna be writer.

See you in August!

2009-07-18T10:46:00.001+01:00

Tomorrow, I leave for Canada!

So no reading blogs, few posting blogs. Might get to it by email from my phone.

But I don't know. =P

I will miss this blog!

Have a nice summer everyone!

-Eggy Mayers, wanna be writer.

Sigh =P

2009-07-15T19:52:00.003+01:00

I suppose disappointment isn't something you can escape.

People will always be disappointed in me, you, themselves. Perhaps people just like the feeling of being disappointed. Perhaps we're suppressing our disappointment in the world into small details of a person.

I don't know, maybe it's just deserved disappointment.

Today I found out I'm allergic to wheat. Not only that, but apparently I care too much. I need to not care about others and only care about myself? Is that really the way this world is meant to work?

Apparently my 'mother like nature' makes me take on the bad feelings of the person being persecuted. Me being involved or just watching.

I've been told that Yoga provides a way to learn to cope with caring too much.

Did no one think that I like being able to care so much?

I suppose not.

I'm stressed. According to my tongue. I have a red ended tongue which is meant to symbol stress.

Well who the hell isn't stressed? (Because let's find them and tell them they're house is about to blow up.)

I dunno'. Today just hasn't been a great day.

I suppose this post hasn't helped your day either.

Well here's something that may/may not cheer you up.

Made me laugh. =)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpojZ0COU3Y

Like holy smoke, who does that?!

-Eggy Mayers, wanna be writer.

Catching you all up

2009-07-12T17:40:00.000+01:00

Here's a small/big/not sure yet catch up.

So I was in hospital. I had my appendix out but it burst during surgery so they had to clean me up and all. Really hurts.

So I haven't been able to be online much because well, it hurts to walk to the stupid computer.

It's been pretty boring though, just watching movies and whatnot. In fact I'm sort of watching Batman right now, for like the 50th time. Or the second time... same thing.

I also want to touch on some subjects that have come to mind. I guess I want to open up and admit. Feels strange.

I fear...

1. Being taken from someone I love.

2. Losing someone I love.

3. Being cheated on.

4. Spiders.

5. Vampires.

6. Disappointment.

7. Doing something wrong.

8. Having no control.

9. Being kidnapped.

10. Not eating enough.

I love...

1. The feeling of being accomplished.

2. The feeling of making someone proud.

3. Being loved.

4. My family.

5. Being online.

6. Long baths.

7. Aero chocolate.

8. Exercising.

9. Going out and just chatting with friends.

10. Being prepared and knowing what's going to happen.

I'd like to know...

1. How long I'll live for.

2. The cure for cancer.

3. What Bella and my dad think of me.

4. If I make them proud.

5. How long until I can have a baby.

6. How to play the piano.

7. What it's like to be married.

8. When my heart will be broken.

9. How tall I'll grow.

10. How to help lost and upset children.

I never want to...

1. Disappoint.

2. Sell myself.

3. Lose my family.

4. Lose myself.

5. Become an alcoholic.

6. Become a drug addict.

7. Hurt my children.

8. Fail in school.

9. Lose hope.

10. Feel alone.

I want to know...

1. Johnny.

2. Zacy.

3. Jane.

4. Molly.

5. Beth.

6. Jacy.

7. Zara.

8. Tar.

9. Brandon.

10. Jackie.

... forever.

I wake up knowing...

1. I'm alive.

2. Someone in the world will die today.

3. New babies will enter the world.

4. Someone will be hurt.

5. You can pay $1000 to kill a child in some places.

6. The world is corrupt.

7. I'll never know everything.

8. I'll do my best to know as much as I can.

9. I'll learn something new.

10. I'll always love.

I want to...

1. Establish a charity.

2. Write a novel.

3. Have a child.

4. Save a life.

5. Die being a respected person.

6. Live a long time.

7. Be liked.

8. Be loved.

9. Be interesting.

10. Always have something to say.

Alright I'm done.

R.I.P. Michael Jackson. You're being thought about.

R.I.P. Those who died while I was writing this post.

R.I.P. Everyone who deserves it.

-Eggy Mayers, wanna be writer.

Sunday!

2009-06-28T12:47:00.001+01:00

Ahola, my happy west coast friends. And others.

Today is Sunday! Who doesn't love Sunday? -Shup if you don't-

I'm so terribly bored, until I started writing this that is, not that it's anything of interest. But haha to you for reading it!

That was mean. =( I'm sorry.

Anywho whatsits, Friday, in art we were told to make something out of random things to represent us... I used foil to make a small shape resembling a laptop and a hand out of a latex glove filled with cloth typing on it... (I shall take a picture of it next week in art class! Be excited to see what I can make in 20 minutes!)

Then I looked at it, and realised I need help.

Eh, as long as there is internet I'll be happy. I don't need offline friends.

What?

I don't know about you guys, but I'm quite distraught about the whole Michael Jackson thing.

I really thought he was an amazingly talented person and I'm really sad that we've lost him in the world today.

My favorite of his songs is Beat It.

I'm gonna' miss the guy. Not that I knew him or anything.. but he really was something great.

Oh, some more random drama. Friday night, someone was shot on my highstreet. In a restaurant I love going to! So scary...

There was a whole chase and it was something related to drugs or something. But that's all I know.

Anywho, I'll end here. I haven't got much to say today. =S

Oh dear. =P

-Eggy Mayers, wanna be writer.

I Confess My Love

2009-06-24T22:57:00.005+01:00

Oh delicious bar of goodness filled with tiny air bubbles.

How I love when you rest on my tongue and melt into my mouth.

It's like you're a gift from the high heavens above.

The way you effortlessly spread a smile across my face.

You bring warmth to the coldest days with your theobromine and phenethylamine.

Raise my serotonin levels and take away my troubles with your sweet and sugared cure.

I love you, sweet, loving, tasty Aero.

Forever my friend, my comfort, my compassion.

-Eggy Mayers, wanna be writer.

Sunday Post. It's Soppy, I Warn You.

2009-06-21T20:26:00.006+01:00

So I haven't blogged for a while and so I thought I should.

Mainly because I've become addicted to the wonderful... truly... beautiful (yes I meant it) computer game called, 'Scions of Fate.'

Hell yes, I'm a bowgirl? (It's cool and you know it).

Also my user...thing(?) is Tati123

ADD ME! (You know, if you want to...)

So it's Sunday today. =) I like Sundays. I just roamed around all day. Read three books today. =P

I really meant I'd start reading again when I said it. So I read Twilight (finally) and New Moon. And I finished rereading The Game. Twilight was a good book I liked the description and I like the way she writes but I just hate the plot. Mainly because vampires scare me... (Big whoop, wanna' fight about it?!)

I love Grey's Anatomy, it's just so beautiful. Izzy just got married and I am in tears, yeah I'm an ugly crier. Get over it. And yeah, I cry and laugh at the same time. I'm a multi-tasker, what can I say?

Soppy haters, stop here.

Moving on... I believe it's Father's Day and...

Well here:

[21:38:13] Jommy *red+u says:

Well, you should write daddio a letter.

[21:38:16] Jommy *red+u says:

[21:38:24] Tati ☆ I love you, Tar - B [PIP] ❤ says:

a letter? :S

[21:38:52] Jommy *red+u says:

Well, sure.

[21:38:58] Jommy *red+u says:

Everyone loves letters.

I think I owe someone a letter:

Dear Daddy,

Well, it's been a while, hasn't it? I don't really know what to write to you but I'm just going to let the ideas flow.

I hope somehow and someway I make you proud.

I want to tell you that... I really miss you. I love you and I'm still your little girl. I don't live with Mum, but you probably know about that. I don't really know what you know.

I guess I want to tell you I'm happy. I may not seem it all the time, but I am. There are a few people you should know about.

Johnny, he's like a big brother to me. When I say big I mean a whole 6'7 big. I love him to pieces, he's always here for me and always puts a smile on my face when I'm sad. He's the one who told me to write to you. He's super smart, like freaky smart. And always knows right from wrong. Don't worry, he's still (somewhat) cool.

Zacy, he's another big brother. He's gay. :) That's always worth mentioning. He's great, he's so smart. He's great fun. He's really weird, just like me. And I miss him a bunch because he's just moved to Switzerland, which sucks.

There are so many people who are in my life now that I love. I just wish you could have met them. Jacy, Tar, Brandon, Jeffrey, Nikki, Jane, Robert, Molly, Beth, Cammy (sort of) and Sara, and that's only a few of them.

And here's the part just for you Dad.

Dad, I love you and that will never ever change. You've been the best man in my life and I'll always be thinking about you. There is so much I want to say to you. I just don't know how to.

I hope you have a great day... I don't know how, but I hope it happens. Dad, you deserve it.

I love you so much.

Well, that concludes my blog. I'm sorry I've been so lame and soppy. I'll leave this note with some tears in my eyes and a big pasted smile on my face.

Hope everyone had a good day.

-Eggy Mayers, wanna be writer.

Sorry's Stuck in my Throat

2009-06-17T22:36:00.000+01:00

Written things are thought to be hard to take back. But even things being said can match up to that.

Sometimes a simple sentence can even make the speaker feel shameful and guilty.

There are things that are not meant to be said. Things that stick around the forever-beating heart and make the eyes blotchy with tears. One sentence said can break an iron brick as if dropping a wine glass off the fourth floor of a house onto a concrete surface.

It's so difficult to take back what's been done. It's time like these that 'sorry' becomes a chore to say. When the guilt is so bad that the letters lie on your tongue only to crawl down your dry and crackling throat to strangle you. Squeezing you so hard you well up and water at the eyes. Or are those tears?

Guilt can grow inside you and spread like a virus, while those last words spoken still linger stationary in the head of the receiver. The most powerful and hurtful words are the ones that have never been said before, but the ones that when said are said with sour-lemon lips and spitting venom.

The ones you want to take back as soon as they've been breathed out but you can't grasp however hard you might try.

But the thing that cripples you most is when those words are fired and aimed back to you, from the least suspecting person. From the person you never wanted to hear it from. From the person that will make you never forgive yourself. From the person that will keep you up all night, yearning for that person to take back the words you cruelly spat out first.

Things said are hard to take back. Moments without thought, but pure foolishness are hard to forget. Saying sorry, truly is the hardest word. Being forgiven, is something you have to beg for. Being trusted, is something you have to work for. Being respected, is something you have to earn.

-Eggy Mayers, wanna be writer.

Hectic Chaffufal of a Day

2009-06-15T23:36:00.000+01:00

So I'm super bored. And I miss writing... like writing crap about stuff, and whatnot.

So I was thinking I might just make this blog super random.

So just deal with it!

So I started writing this about an hour ago and since then I've screwed up twice.

Firstly, I wrote an essay on a topic completely irrelevant to the topic we were meant to write about.

Secondly, I made a friend mad at me for some stupid reason and now I'm blocked. Then worse than that, I blocked her... and I don't know how to unblock her.

Oh never mind that, it finally worked. So I unblocked her, but I'm still blocked. Oh well. I'll live.

Today was such a stressful day. But it did start wonderfully.

Let me skip to Friday evening before I go on about today.

Friday evening I get a call from my boyfriends mum... Worst day I've had for a while to be honest, "You're a slut and I want you to stay away from my son." Well ouch... So I spent the whole Saturday and Sunday curled up in bed mopping around thinking we've broken up.

Whoever drew that is a genius.

So Monday...

Got up, got to miss school. Went to the forest to see my sister. =) I really miss her...

But it's just something so magical to go to a forest to be with her. It just makes me smile so much when I go there. It feels right.

After that, Jane decides she's sick of me sulking around the house and drives me to go talk to Tar... Great.

Turns out, not only did he not know about the phone call his mum made, he also didn't know that we had broken up.

Jane (My mum) didn't know about the phone call Tar's mum had made. (I hate this kind of drama...) Finally found out about the phone call and started yelling her head off at Tar's mum.

I can't stand that. I hate people fighting with me as the subject. I just can't bare it. Makes me feel so depressed and empty.

Anyway, after all that Tar took me home while Jane and his mum were still fighting.

I get home find out I have mail (which is weird because I never get mail... except those weirdo leaflet things I've signed up for just to look like I'm cool enough to get mail.) I open it to find out I have a bank account... weird right?

Well it's not my money in there as much as I would like it to be. But Jane said she'd take care of it.

What a hectic day...

I officially hate drama.

And I am off to bed for certain. Goodnight internet hookers. I'll see you soon.

-Eggy Mayers, wanna be writer.

Problem, would love some help.

2009-06-10T20:37:00.001+01:00

Okay so I have a blog problem. You see this weird line just above this sentence. That looks like this : |

Would LOVE to know how to stop it being posted on EVERY post I make.

I don't care if I end up giving you my blogger password. I just want that thing GONE!

-Eggy Mayers, wanna be writer.

Books!

2009-06-10T19:53:00.015+01:00

So I wanna' talk about some books that I really like.

I may have read these a while ago... possibly because I recently discovered my hate for reading things that aren't online.

But anyway, these books are really worth a read and amazingly written.

-Side note-

I was thinking of starting a button just to practice the HTML that Lilu kindly emailed to me.

I'm aware it wont be very successful but oh well. =P

My button! So, here's the deal. If you're going to write about a book copy and paste this code.

And go ahead and let's get some kind of discussion going about with them.

These aren't in order of my favorite... (Although they are in order of which I remembered first. =X)

One. The Little Prisoner - by Jane Elliott

It's just not possible to not weep your eyes out in this book.

Such a sad but true story. Very disturbing and very heartbreaking. But what an amazing book to have written. Well done Jane Elliott! I truly admire your bravery.

One. Skinny Dip - by Carl Hiaasen

This was just the wittiest and most amazing fiction book ever written. Carl Hiaasen who lives in Florida always sets his books in Florida. This one was about a women whose husband pushes her off a cruise ship to try and kill her. And it's all about her plotting her revenge while unravelling secrets he kept from her.

I'm only going to mention one more book. Which is more for the teens out there. (Like my ageish

maybe a bit younger... in other words 13-16ish.)

Three. Junk - by Melvin Burgess

This book is about two teenagers who leave home, find a group of people to live with in an abandoned house. And it takes you through their journey of drugs and how it broke away real emotions. (Also, the boy in this story is nicknamed Tar. =3 That's the nickname of my significant other!)

-Eggy Mayers, wanna be writer.

Sunday

2009-06-07T23:16:00.001+01:00

No, not walking in the rain... running in the rain for dear life.

Seemed like a good day when I woke up to draw back the curtains to a beaming sun. Went to school with a dorky smile on my face. Had my 4 hour long drama rehearsal that actually turned out to be a bundle of fun. Nothing says 'wake up early on Sunday' like making pig noises on a stage. (Yes, we're doing the play Animal Farm.)

After we get dismissed I walk down the road and start waiting for a bus. (Yes this is the legit bus stop I waited at!) Anyway, 30 long crawling minutes finally came to an end when a bus starts nearing me. I stick out my arm to indicate I wanted him to pick me up. The driver takes one look at me and drives right by. =(

I wait another 10 minutes for a bus before I give up and start running in the rain all the way home.

I hate being cold and wet... It just doesn't make my day, that's for sure.

The most embarrassing part about today had to be when I lost a bet against my dear friend Hayley. Only we don't bet money, we bet embarrassment. Three times a day, for three days I have to sing this song. And don't think learning the lyrics was easy. It was a hell rippling experience.

Of course there were things that made this day great too. =)

Tar came over.

I love you, Tar. =)

Moving on... well no actually. Going to bed time. =P Super tired. Goodnight bloggers. =)

-Eggy Mayers, wanna be writer.

Something New

2009-06-07T01:33:00.006+01:00

*When you walked through the door it was clear to me. You're the one they adore, who they came to see. You're a rockstar. Everybody wants you. Player, who can really blame you. We're the one who made you.*

Anywho... So I was getting bored of my own blog a bit and as you can see. Or I hope you can see, I've changed it 'round a little completely.

I'm also going to change what I write about. So far it's been a bunch of poems and stories. Well now I'm going to take a shot about writing about things that happen to me. =P
Yeah, yeah. Boring.
I don't care if it's boring. Stop following me if you dont like it. But please don't.

Moving on...
A few things that happened. Let's start with that.
Well first a hugeeeeeeeeeeeeee mazel-tov (That's right, I'm Jewish) to my friend Dave! (He's in love. =X) So cute. =)

Also, went out this night/last night/really don't know what to call it.
It was so randomly crazy. We left a house party, Max, Sandy and I and Max drove us to the highstreet where we went for hot chocolate.
<-- Not the one I had, but similar. =) After that we went to the bar and bought two bottles of vodka which we decided we weren't going to drink. We ended up walking right over to this amazing pancakes stall. No joke, they make the best most mouth watering crepes in the world. Mm, nothing beats watching them melt chocolate into your pancake... I'm not one for chocolate, (except aero! I love aero...) but this is out of this world.
Alright, where was I? Oh yeah. So we got to this pancake (mmmm) place. And were all out of money. So we traded the vodka to the people who were working there for pancakes.
They then depressingly realised they can't drink on the job... Shame. =(
One thing lead to another and we ended up making pancakes for complete strangers!
Just so unexpected and so much fun.
And now I'm here waiting for Tar, (My lovely and loving significant other) to show up so we can watch a movie together while cuddling up. =)
A perfect end to a crazy day.

-Eggy Mayers, wanna be writer.

Poem

2009-05-27T23:21:00.008+01:00

I had a jar of pennies that used to make my day;

I would sit around for hours and everything went my way.

But my jar began to crack and crumble, I began to lose my pennies,

And when time began to go on, I was losing them in twenty's.

I lost them in the floor cracks and I couldn't get them back;

And I sat there with an empty jar, my heart under attack.

Loneliness came faster and the loss began to spread.

And when I shut my eyes, went cold, I knew that I was dead.

-Eggy Mayers, wanna be writer.

Pongo

2009-05-17T20:58:00.005+01:00

I just didn't see it coming, I never thought you'd lose your smell.

Now that you have I feel like somethings been ripped away from me. You carried the scent of a life once lived. I really rested my head on you. You were my support when I was upset, and my guidance when I was confused. And now, you've left me, lost.

I don't know where to turn right now, I think I'm still upset. I know it's not your fault and I'm sorry I left so much responsibility on you. But nothing lost will ever be brought back.

So I'll cover you with perfume, I know it's not the same. But we'll deal with it together.

I still love and trust you, heart-warming teddy.

-Eggy Mayers, wanna be writer.

For a timed exam I had to do.

2009-05-12T17:56:00.003+01:00

The exam question: (Keep in mind this was a really rushed piece of work)

Imagine you are standing near an impressive sight (either natural or man-made). Using up to 200 words, describe what you observe and how it makes you feel.

The rainforest leaked around me. Marvelous strings of green hung from the sky and wound their way down harsh brown tubes. The soil which I stood on sank with moisture and made warming, squelching sounds. The shades of green darted about my eyes and set a wonderful and busy picture in front of me. The way the colours of plants and trees danced together had my mouth gaping with awe. I stood, motionless, as everything rushed about me. Not a space wasn't covered with colour. I looked above expecting to see a vibrant sky, but leaves spread out and expanded to block my view. I looked forward at the thick layers of plantation unevenly sprouting. The flowers too delicately placed in such an unforgiving background. The birds sang out of tune but seemed to work together on a soundtrack to set the mood. The insects swarmed busily about in a world of their own. Animals hang from vegetation. They shifted under it, were resting on top of it. Animals clung to whatever was theirs. It was a madhouse. There wasn't a moment silence, everywhere I turned had been brightened with noise and colour. It was like nothing I'd ever seen.

-Eggy Mayers, wanna be writer.

Death The Soul Keeper

2009-05-01T04:13:00.005+01:00

July 2001

She leapt out of her skin and ran. Faster than light I watched her zoom about restlessly. I snickered to myself. I have a cruel, cruel heart. She zipped to a rich coloured tree and floated around it smiling to herself. She clearly enjoyed the freedom.

Then she noticed my presence. She spun around to face me. I wonder what she thought, when everything is so much more beautiful in the world around, until she faced me.

Well that was my cue, I smiled at her and walked towards her. Put one hand forward as if a friendly gesture. She took my hand with her translucent fingers, her face looked puzzled. I sighed and using her hand I spun her into a translucent ball. I put the ball next to my ear. It still had a pulse. That's what's sad about a soul, their special effort to make them feel like they're real. I laid a finger from my other hand on the ball and absorbed it. My next job was around the corner. Very convenient.

I neared a chorus of sobbing and smiled. I was close. As I entered the funeral grounds I could see many people in black, mourning over their lost one. But that's not all I could see. The coffin was short, too short for an adult.

Sometimes I hate my job, I really do.

I caught sight of the soul, she was desperately grabbing onto peoples legs, trying to be seen or heard. She had long blonde hair and big blue eyes that were sparkling from tears.

With dread, I neared her. With regret, I put my hand on her shoulder. And with sorrow, I absorbed her.

August 2001

It's been tiring.

The other week I was nearing a soul that I must have known from somewhere. Perhaps a funeral of another. An old man who had died of old age. He was sitting there, not abusing the freedom like most do. So I went to sit by him.

"You dead too?" He asked me.

"I was never born." I replied.

"Never born?" He questioned leaning his head to one side in confusion.

"Nope." I gently shook my head.

"How is that possible?" He asked.

"Well, I am death." I told him. He paused after I said that and fell silent.

"Ah, I see." He replied after a while and smiled at me. I sighed.

"Well, I have a job to do." I regretfully told him.

"I understand." He nodded. And I put my hand on his shoulder and watched him strain and struggle while he was sucked into me.

September 2001

What a month.

A terrorist attack over the ocean. I didn't feel sad, I never feel sad.

How could I possibly with this kind of job?

But it really was something to go around collecting almost 3000 souls. And they weren't easy to get either, I'm not used to going under buildings to find spirits. They were acting like crazy lunatics. As if they didn't know they were dead. Running all over the place.

I guess it's part of the after shock. But it really was a gruesome sight.

I'm not one to complain, but there is a limit of blood that even I can take.

It was pretty crazy. Running back and forth with my arms out. Feeling younger and fresher every second. I didn't even have time to catch most of their names.

October 2001

I came to two heavy, wooden doors. I let out a shrill whistle that would have pierced your ears and the doors unbolted and slowly creaked open. My eyes rolled over like glass and I hung my head backwards. Facing up I could see the raging souls fly effortlessly back and forth trapped within themselves. They're faces looked screwed up with venom and their eyes like poison darts. They swarmed above me as they tried to reach out and claw at me.

I walked forward and the doors closed behind me. I felt safer down here. I knew this place. I liked this place. I was home.

-Eggy Mayers, wanna be writer.

Disappointment Took My Throne

2009-04-22T17:29:00.005+01:00

Disappointment stings the throat and leaves the mouth bone dry.

Disappointment brings you low when you felt like you could fly.

Disappointment has a body of a snake to suffocate.

Disappointment slows you down and begins to accelerate.

The body goes limp and the emotion goes blue.

Respect and faith is lost, something you once knew.

Disappointments not forgotten, you'll remember it next time.

Disappointment helps you grow and learn, disappointment makes you climb.

Disappointment hurts those who love me. I know they strive for better.

Disappointment makes me think things through as I write out every letter.

I was stupid. I was foolish. I was wrong. I was dumb.

But I have future to change that, who knows what I'll become?

Disappointment throws off balance, disappointments stuck alone.

Disappointment supplies sorrow, disappointment took my thrown.

-Eggy Mayers, wanna be writer.

Cancer

2009-04-21T10:05:00.004+01:00

You mock freedom night and day.

You, sickness, traps souls and dreams.

Dreaming loosens the belt.

Fighting weakens the body.

Reality lets you win.

You dampen winter warmth.

You drown summer spirits.

You overrule.

You order around.

You take charge.

You attack.

Who are you kidding, fool?

You don't do anyone proud.

You don't make anyone smile.

You, yourself have a sick mind.

You, yourself have no guilt, no emotion.

You drink with death and dance with sorrow.

You're cold hearted.

You take and don't give back.

You're selfish.

You attack the innocent.

You're cowardly.

You thrive off tears.

You thrive off mourning.

You thrive off broken hopes.

You thrive off desperation.

You're a king without a castle.

You're a jewel without a crown.

You're a hated disease without a heart.

I hate you cancer,

Yours sincerely, Miss Tatiana Rose Mayers.

-Eggy Mayers, wanna be writer.

Short Script

2009-04-21T09:59:00.004+01:00

This was more of a school assignment. It's a short script.

Short Script One.

(Romeo is sitting on a large mushroom beside a river. He is in a wild forest where things are in normal. Unusually coloured trees and flowers crowded around the mushroom. A single spotlight hits Romeo’s face. The rest of the stage is lighted with blue fairy lights.)

(Juliet walks in. Another spotlight on Juliet.)

Juliet: Romeo! Oh Romeo, I’ve been looking everywhere for you!

(Romeo turns to look at Juliet)

Romeo: Juliet, I said it was over. Just go away already. Can’t you see I’m busy?

Juliet: But Romeo, we’re meant to be! You and I, we’re like the moon and the stars.

Romeo (mutters): Or like a king and a pig.

Juliet: We’re the angels in heaven.

Romeo (mutters): I’m going to be sick. (Out loud) Look Juliet, just because Shakespeare said it does not mean it’s going to happen.

(Titania, dressed as a fairy like creature walks in.)

Romeo (sighs): Oh dear Lord.

Titania: Hand in hand with fairy grace. We’ll sing and bless this place.

(Dances around stage.)

Romeo (Getting annoyed, emphasis on ‘got’): You have got to be kidding me.

Titania (As she notices Romeo): What have we here? A mortal’s love not found?

Romeo: I’m not looking for love, thank you very much.

Titania (jumps back in fright): Dear lord! It spoke! And answers me? I hope not.

(Walking over to Juliet) and here stands one, bewitched perhaps?

Romeo (stands and walks to Titania): Look, whoever you are, she’s not bewitched will you just go back from wherever you came from and leave us all alone.

(Hurt and confused Titania walks off stage.)

Juliet: Romeo, my dear Romeo. Will we ride off into the night together?

Romeo: Who am I? Prince charming?

Juliet (Giggling): Oh Romeo, how foolish you are. You make me laugh. And look here comes a child. Whose child is this?

(Enters Puck)

Puck: The names Puck, and I’m not a child. I’m here for business.

Romeo (muttering sarcastically): Yeah… that’s what we came to a forest for.

Juliet (ignoring Romeo’s comment and stepping forward): Oh how wonderful!

(Puck slyly sliding to Juliet)

Puck: Is this your lucky day Miss? Will that prince charming of yours buy you a bracelet? (Shows inside of coat lined with jewellery.)

Romeo: I’m not her prince charming if that’s what you’re asking.

Juliet (Squeals in delight): Oh how beautiful! Just wonderful! Dear Romeo, always spoiling me, I’ll buy this one myself.

Romeo (Irritated by the whole situation): Good for you.

(Helena runs in): Has anyone seen my dear Demetrius?

Puck: Dear lady, can I interest you in my products?

Helena: I haven’t the time! I’ve got to go.

(Helena Exit.)

Romeo (Angrily): That’s it! I’m out of here. (Exit)

Juliet: Romeo, dear Romeo! Wait for me. (Exit)

Puck: If we shadows have offended,

 Think but this, and all is mended, 

That you have but slumber'd here 

While these visions did appear. 

And this weak and idle theme, 

No more yielding but a dream, 

Gentles, do not reprehend:

 if you pardon, we will mend: 

And, as I am an honest Puck,

 If we have unearned luck 

Now to 'scape the serpent's tongue, 

We will make amends ere long; 

Else the Puck a liar call; 

So, good night unto you all. 

Give me your hands, if we be friends,

 And Robin shall restore amends.

-Eggy Mayers, wanna be writer.

2009-03-05T18:19:00.001Z

There are a lot of bad choices to be made. A lot of evil can be brought from them.

In the Jewish religion it is said that God is all powerful and wholly good. But if God is all powerful and wholly good he would stop evil. The only explanation would be to say that God is only one. Either all powerful or wholly good.

But no, I take that back. It's not the only explanation. The other is free will. It's the freedom that God gives us to make a choice. It can tell us that God is all powerful and wholly good but choses not to help us with evil. Stopping even would be like taking away morality and freedom. It would mean God is controlling us, but no, he choses not to. God gives us the freedom to do as we want to with our lives and some people abuse that freedom.

God lets us make our own decisions.

I understand this explanation, but if it is so, I dislike God. If he is all powerful and wholly good and still lets innocent people die and get hurt everyday I can't understand what his morals on the phrase 'wholly good' are. Does he really think he's teaching us a lesson by letting us watch an innocent loved one die? Or maybe he's trying to create havoc by doing so. Proving that he either is ignorant to the meaning 'wholly good' or just not wholly good at all.

And if he is all powerful, how can he not see when someone is deserving of life? Shouldn't he be able to help someone in need when they've stuck by him throughout their life? Does he really have to make them suffer.

Even with illness. God lets millions of people every week die from illness. This doesn't show his letting us have freedom with evil. No, it shows us he is either not wholly good or all powerful.

I don't know why people marvel and praise him so much when he is actually to blame for the loss of many lives...

I used to think well of God but know, I don't know...

-Eggy Mayers, wanna be writer.

And the tear drops fall.

2009-03-05T01:03:00.005Z

The tear drop falls like a shard of glass from the shattered, fragile heart.

It falls elegantly then pierces the cheek with its blunt edge.

It breaks perfect formation and spreads like an army, dampens the skin and marks its territory.

It takes command of your face.

Forcing you not to smile, not to laugh.

You obey, solemnly.

Then the next tear drop falls.

This one falls harder than the first.

It hurts equally.

The first one has made its way down the face leaving a transparent glossy film.

The second one will follow, leaving two symmetrical streaks down either side of a broken face.

-Eggy Mayers, wanna be writer.

The beginning of a story.

2009-02-24T06:51:00.018Z

Nick

Nick stood with both hands by his side as he watch the white trail of the wedding dress disappear. His face was frozen in disbelieve as he stood at the alter in his black suit. The crowd of loved and dear ones let whispers of shock out along the neatly laid rows. No one wore a smile. No one understood. No one left where they were sitting.

Lily

Lily clutched her hands to her ears as a tear trickled down her cheek and onto her elbow. The tear left a shimmering trail as it travelled further down her arm. She opened her mouth and began to pant with disbelief. She let out one high pitched scream and broke into sobs that formed a regular pattern. Her shoulders lifted and dropped as each heartbreaking breath was made.

She looked up at the sky, it blurred with her watery eyes. She took her hands down from her ears and with one boney finger she brushed a tear that was beginning to break free from her glistening eyes. She sniffed a tiny and went silent. There was a cool breeze that made a low rustling noise and you could hear the faint sound of a busy road not too far away. She stood there still and after a moment or two she sneezed. She sniffed another two times and sat down. Putting her beautiful clean white wedding dress straight into a rain puddle of thick, brown, dusty mud. The dress turned a murky grey-brown colour and immediately was dampened. The white silk was ruined.

Lily took two fingers from her right hand and smoothed the wet dress into the earthy mud. Silent tears ran down her rosy cheeks. Her lips were red and her eyes glistened. She truly was stunning when she cried.

Her waterproof makeup was still perfectly applied. And her tiny figure, although depressed, was slouched in perfect posture.

Nick

Nick listened to the crowd disperse without saying a word. He stood in the same position with his arms down still staring at the door in the exact spot where his bride had ran out on him. To everyone around him it were as if he had died inside. As if he wasn't even breathing. He was as still as a frozen ice sculpture. And his expression was as cold as one too. Lily's father stood shocked a few spaces away but other than him, the room was now empty. Lily's father scratched his head in thought and began to pace in small circles sighing to himself. He shot a glance at Nick who hadn't moved an inch. Then he returned his eyes to the ground and began to pace again.

Lily

Lily calmed down and her tears became silent. With one of her thin fingers she tucked loose bits of hair behind her ear. She the removed her vail and laid it into the puddle that she sat in. She watched it soak for a few seconds then lost interest and began creating ripples in the water by dragging her finger around in a circle in the muddy puddle. After a few moments and after some thoughts were cleared up the tears stopped running down her face and she started to gaze into the nothingness of the forrest trees. She picked herself up and stood wearily for a moment. Then she used both her hands and gathered up her dress. She took off her garter and with it she bunched up the soaking wet patches and tied them to one side. She rubbed the last of the tears out of her eyes and could just about made out the outline of the church. Her eyes welled up again. She turned to face forwards and walked towards the church. Surely everyone must have left already.

-Eggy Mayers, wanna be writer.

Don't Take Drugs

2009-02-10T01:01:00.014Z

I am building up to something. Something big.

Not just something big... it was the most magnificent thing that could have ever walked the planet.

It is to be better than when Isaac Newton got hit on the head with an apple. It is to be better than the time James Lind discovered the cure for scurvy. It is to be better than the first man on the moon.

I am going to fly.

I can feel it running through my veins. The sheer thrill and excitement hits the very ends of my toes and is buzzing through my whole body right through to my finger tips. My eyes are wide and full of energy. My smile is stretched across my face. I feel like the Joker. I have no plan, no plan. Just faith in myself.

I'm not a killer. I am about to be an achiever. I am about to be the greatest thing that ever walked here on Earth.

I was a normal human until today. I was one of you... but you'll see. You'll all see. I'm going to be better. I'm one of a kind. I can do things you'll never do. And you'll be jealous. Jealous of me.

My breath is thick with anticipation and my legs were eager. I licked the flesh of my lips and shone my flashy white teeth through a smile of delight.

I'm building up to it, something great. I see it closer. It's more real.

More real than ever before.

I am going to fly.

I am going to fly like a bird. I am going to soar through the air with my broad chin facing the warming sun and my arms stretched out as if they were beautiful wings. Wings made of feathers and petals. So delicately sewn together that they could have only been done by the tiny hands of small fireflies. I am going to let the wind blow me in certain directions as you all look up in astonishment. You faces carved with amazement. I will fly! I will fly!

I'm going to do it soon. I'm going to fly. You're going to watch.

This day I've evolved and I will fly. This day you will remember. This day, you'll watch in awe. This day will be in your calendar for centuries. This day is my day.

Get ready for it, I know I am. I can do this. I will do this.

I'm on the top of this building. It's a wonderful building. A tall one. In the center, where everyone can see it. It over looks a park. So much green can be seen from up here. Like an oil panting on a white canvas. So detailed that I can see every tiny bench and small flower. But mixed into a blur as each gust of wind rustles past and my eye sight becomes wary. I can see roads and smaller buildings. Houses and cars. I can see lives buzzing around. People running forwards and backwards. Tiny black dots running from building to building. Each person thinks they are of importance. Each person has a worry.

Everything is at a distance. Everything is in another world.

I can fly.

I will fly.

I'm taking slow light steps forwards to the edge of the building. My toes are curling over the edge and the wind is blowing across making them cold. My eyes are wide. My sense of smell is strong. And my spirit is free.

I can fly.

I know I can fly...

One more step and I'm off...

I feel the air rush past me. I've burst into the sky. I'm free. I'm part of the world. I'm part of the sky. I look down. The dots are bigger this time and they're pointing at me! Everyone is looking at me! I'm the center of attention, I'm the star of the show, I'm the eagle in the sky. They're all looking, they'll all remember. I'm part of the sky, and they're not.

-Eggy Mayers, wanna be writer.

Rain

2009-02-05T22:42:00.002Z

There is no dullness to a single rain drop.

That will fall through the trees.

Leaving glistening trails as it rolls along a leave.

There is no beauty to the sunshine, unless a rainy day is near.

Without a cloud, a rain drop will not fall.

A tree will not grow.

A new life will not begin.

Does a rain drop share the same emotion as a tear?

Does it dance around the heart with the feeling of joy or sorrow?

You don't remember a rain drop the same way you remember a tear.

There is no tomorrow, without a rain drop.

There is no today, without a tear.

-Eggy Mayers, wanna be writer.

I don't know how I feel when I think of you

2009-01-27T21:37:00.004Z

I don't know how I feel when I think of you.

Sometimes I want to scream and shout and tear my room to pieces. Other times I want to cry and roll into a tight ball rocking myself from side to side. You make me scared sometimes. Not only a fear against you, but a fear for you too. Mostly, I wish you'd go backwards in time and be the person I used to know and trust. But how far away has that person gone? Has that person left forever? I really think so...

I don't understand what you've become or why you act the way you do. And I don't understand why you're so ignorant and chose to be that way. I don't understand anything you are anymore. And I don't understand why you think you play an important role in my life still.

If I don't understand you and wish I didn't know you... why do I miss you?

Why do I want to her your voice?

Why would I ever feel the need to see you again?

I don't understand myself sometimes.

I make no sense.

My heart acts one way, my brain acts the other.

But where is this emotion coming from?

Surely not my heart, and defiantly not my brain.

It's strange the way I feel about you. Perhaps I don't feel anything at all anymore.

Why do I want to see you? Do I really think you've changed? Will you really become the person you were again?

No! You wouldn't, and you don't even want to.

I don't understand... I don't want to understand... I want this to be a misunderstanding...

But hey, I'm 14. And this is what I've been told to understand.

I'm young in your eyes, I'm vulnerable in your eyes. I'm an easy target in your eyes, I'm a lost hope in your eyes. I'm unimportant in your eyes, I'm selfish in your eyes.

Want to know what you are in my eyes?

You're dead. You've lost my trust, my respect and my love.

So why do I still miss you?

-Eggy Mayers, wanna be writer.

A Small Story, 'Dear Diary'.

2009-01-26T18:32:00.007Z

Dear Diary,

Today I woke up dancing into the moonlight with the man of my dreams. Then I woke to the alarm clock. Nothing else happened. Nothing else important.

Dear Diary,

Today the sky was grey and full of clouds. The sun came out for a few minutes but hid itself again. Nothing else happened. Nothing else important.

Dear Diary,

Today I waked to the shop and bought some milk. Nothing else happened. Nothing else important.

Dear Diary,

I'm done and I want to start anew, so goodbye. I'm leaving you.

I'm going to talk to God instead. I hear he has answers. I also heard that due to the recent financial crisis he has turned off the light at the end of the tunnel to save electricity bills. That made me laugh. Don't know about you though. But maybe he'll turn it back on for me.

I'm in some real need of light. And not just the few minutes of sunlight we had two days ago. I need a beaming light from a lighthouse to be drawn into my heart and make my face glow again. I need Apollo to come down and enter into my mouth and travel to my soul, so my breath can gleam. Apollo is the God of light and the sun, but I'm not only looking for that from him. He's also the God of cures. I need a cure, and he has it. My cure is light. I want light. Light means help. I want help. I want help... no... I need help.

Diary don't take offense to me leaving you. I'll come back. Probably soon. I don't see God having a light for someone like me. I don't see him having the answers. I don't see anything. Am I blind?

Oh Diary, have you given up on me too? Or do you just mock me with your empty pages. Pages filled with nothing but the words of a lost child. Pages that mock me with every sentence. Pages that hold no meaning, have no reason to be written. Pages that don't serve a purpose. Pages that no one will ever look at again. But if they did, they wouldn't take more than two seconds examining my scruffy writing of absolutely nothing of interest.

Diary speak to me! Tell me what to do. Don't sit there in silence as I mourn for what I was. Mourn for what I've lost. Diary talk to me. Tell me what to do. I can't bear the torment. You lay there peacefully while I rant and huff and puff. I feel like the wolf in 'The Three Little Pigs', I huff and I puff and I try again, but I go nowhere! And my effort was put to waste on something I'll never achieve.

Diary... what am I to do? I'm a coward. I can't even face my own feelings. I can't face my mother, my father. I can't face what I've done. I can't find light. I'm absorbed by darkness...

Does light even exist? Am I searching for the non-existent? Or am I searching for the impossible?

Diary you hate me! You hate me because you mock me! You sit there and listen and you don't answer. Is God the same? Am I falling into the pit of what I'm already in? Is it too deep to climb out? Is there any point?

Diary, do you fear death? I don't.

I don't fear death because I don't have anything to live for. People who fear death have an importance to their life. They have something to live for, something to want to stay alive for. I don't fear death. Ha! I laugh at death.

But the laughter cannot be heard because death mocks me too. Death has picked me up and put me into the darkness. Death is the reason my parents don't talk to me anymore. Death killed my dreams, my hopes and my brother.

No, death didn't kill my brother... I killed my brother.

Diary, I killed my own brother!

I was young... so young... and so was he. I wanted to help mother! I thought I was doing the right thing! Diary, hate me! Hate me because I drowned him. Hate me because I put a baby boy into a washing machine. Hate me because I told mother I gave my brother a bath with a smile on my face as she praised my good deed. Hate me because she started screaming over her dead baby as she realised what I had done. Hate me as she ran into the street with a baby boy in her arms and tears streaming down her face as she yelled as loud as she could, "Someone save my baby!" Hate me because no one could save him. Hate me because it was too late. Hate me because he died that day. Hate me because he died on my account. Hate me because I made lives empty...

Diary, hate me.

-Eggy Mayers, wanna be writer.

Was I Meant To Take Your Place?

2009-01-25T21:10:00.007Z

Was I meant to take your place, and stand up proud and tall?

When all I want to feel, is nothing at all.

Was I meant to be strong and not fall apart?

Was I meant to hold on, keep true emotions at heart?

Am I meant to be you? Do I take your place?

Do I stand up tall? Do I step back one pace?

Do I love you? I do.

Do I miss you? Times two.

I want to take your place, I want to make them proud.

I want to be you, so crazy and loud.

I want to make people smile, the same way you did.

I want to be twenty and act like a kid.

But I can't be you, no matter how hard I try.

So I'll just wait until the tears run dry.

Then one day I'll accept just being me.

I know it's not good enough, but I'll be who I'll be.

-Eggy Mayers, wanna be writer.

A poem I wrote quite a while back.

2009-01-24T18:09:00.005Z

Empty

My world keeps spinning round and I keep falling down.

I wake each morning to a mirror, a stranger with a frown.

It's funny when I feel like hanging from a rope.

What's funnier is when I've just lost all my hope.

But I'm not the one laughing, no, I don't even smile.

In fact I forgotten how to, it has been quite a while.

You know when something has gone? Lost, or forgotten.

I wish I was forgotten I would wish it again and again.

But then I never really had to wish, because I got what I wanted.

I feel like shot down prey. I think I'm being hunted.

And empty space fills my heart. My eyes have lost their shine.

So I'm sitting here writing to no-one. Writing nothing, line by line.

Your world keeps spinning round and I keep falling down.

I wake each morning to a mirror, a stranger with a frown.

-Eggy Mayers, wanna be writer.

Something I've Dug Up.

2009-01-24T10:09:00.006Z

I wrote this for English class a while back but I thought it was worth posting.

The Story

I stick my nose in the air and look around. Something isn’t too right about this place. It gives me strange tingles down my spine, that feel like little electric sparks in my stomach, making my palms produce tiny beads of sweat and my expression ever so puzzled. Nervous… yes, I’m very nervous. Gosh, I never knew it could be so tantalizing to be standing in a hallway. Waiting merely for a form to sign. It’s not like I don’t want this, oh trust me, I do, I want it so badly. I’ve been waiting since I got here. Being one of those young kids…

You know, one of those crazy 7 year olds with two little pigtails, each hanging down by a rosy pink cheek that had an innocent gleaming smile of amusement and happiness painted across in bright primary colours. With more knowledge than that of adults, unaware of things I was able to do. Innocence is all an act. But is it true when a 7 year old is able to burn down a building and laugh while watching it? With my tiny pair of glasses fixed onto my tiny button nose and my gleaming blue eyes that were glossy as if someone had just polished them. Being taken away and put behind bars, labelled insane… held down while the world expanded around me.

I start to pace up and down, making myself more and more nervous with every second that passes.

“Scarlet?” a voice calls out. ‘That’s me!!!’ I think to myself. “Scarlet Mayers?” The voice calls out again. ‘Oh God… I feel faint.’ I think again.

“Here.” Came a voice… I think it was mine. It was more of a squeak than anything else. One a dog makes when someone unkindly steps on his paw.

I start to walk in wobbly steps. I’m so weak to my nerves. She extends her arm and hands me an envelope. Then she pats me on the shoulder.

“Good luck, sweetie,” she tells me. I obediently nod my head and turn around. I stop for a brief second. This is the last time I’ll be in here. I start to run those words through my head. This is the last time I’ll be in here. Three particular words is all I can think about. The last time. The last time. The LAST time.

I close my eyes and breath in and out once. Then I open them again, smile, hold my head high and I take long strides across the grey, dimly lit hallway. I look around. Taking in every little mark, scratch and chip of the fading paint. It really was a miserable place, full of miserable people. I smile. Misery. The word made me smile. M-i-s-e-r-y. How unusual, in such a small and lovely world that God created. Misery.

I smile again. My heart stops and so does my pace of walking. I’ve come to a door. I know this door… I just can’t seem to place it in my mind. I’m so used to walking in the other direction of this hallway. I haven’t come to this door for a long time. But I know I’ve seen it.

Like when you remember something from a long time ago. As if it were a dream. But it isn’t as mystical and effective as a dream, that carries you away into another world and makes you as light as a feather as thoughts of happiness dance around your eyes.

I look up to the door, unsure of how to open it.

“Miss Scarlet?” A voice came out of nowhere. Like an angel from heaven, maybe. Suddenly I start to feel a hand on my shoulder.

“Who are you?” I stutter. I don’t turn to face him. I keep myself masked. I’m scared.

“Miss Scarlet, I’m just here to let you out.”

“Let me… out?”

“Yes,” the man then laughs a little.

“It’s not funny,” I’m offended now.

“I’m not laughing at you; you’re just not like the other girls. You’re younger, prettier.” Was I getting… compliments? No more ‘That girl’s crazy’? I smile a little. And turn around to face him. His smile disappears and he steps back. My face becomes a puzzle. Each piece flickering out of place, and easily put back together with the right amount of knowledge. I don’t know what to say. So I keep to myself. He walks around me not looking at me. Then unlocks the large door. I squint. It’s sunny out. I wait in the door for a moment just absorbing the light.

I see people walking around; trees start coming to life. Aren’t they just beautiful? The way their branches stretch out in the air. Freely brushing past the particles. Oxygen, Hydrogen, all moving out the way to make space for these long branches that are holding onto the leaves like their treasured possession.

“Thank you Sir,” I said to the man. He smiles at me again. Then closes the door as I take a step forward and out. Out these doors for the first and last time.

I look down the street just tracing the houses with my mind and taking in all the wonderful colours. I let out a sound of amusement. Like a new born baby. Just opening its eyes to the joys of the world around itself.

I lift up one leg. Admiring the freedom of this one step and I begin my way home.

-Eggy Mayers, wanna be writer.

A Small Story

2009-01-23T18:48:00.010Z

Once Upon a Time

"Once upon a time..." she whispered into the empty bottle of vodka. She sunk down onto the floor, using the wall for support. Her head hung down heavily and she let her arm holding the bottle flop to the ground from her lips. Her eye lids began to feel like weights and she slowly let them start to close. "Once upon a time..." And she was out.

Two long wheezy gasps and then a finger twitch. A flutter of an eye lid and a long pain-filled moan. One hand let go of the empty bottle of vodka and slowly took itself to attend to the pounding head. As the cold finger softly hit the surface of the forehead another moan broke out. Then the rest of the hand softly lay itself over the forehead. Some slow breathing was heard and then a sigh. Someone picked two feet up off the ground and dragged them down a badly lit hallway and into a badly lit kitchen. The hand that wasn't on the forehead reached towards a kitchen stool and pulled it out. Then the body slumped itself down into the stool.

At 11.am an oven timer went off. And the still body suddenly came alive again. This time with more energy, it picked itself up and walked smoothly into a bathroom. There, a brush was picked up and put down again. A toothbrush got wet, minty, was washed and put away. A toilet was flushed. A painkiller was swallowed. And a hair-tie was used to pull hair away from the eyes. And bit by bit this body became a person.

Her two blue-grey dull eyes slowly rose to look into a mirror. She stared at the mirror. Her eyes meeting a pair of solemn, cold, lost blue-grey eyes. Her mouth was opposite a swollen lip and her cheeks were facing a pair of cheeks that were full of colour; blue, purple, brown... bruised.

She didn't acknowledge the way she had fallen apart so badly that even her face showed pure loss and depression. She barely acknowledged how hurt she was, or even how badly she was hurting herself still. But for a matter of fact, she barely acknowledged herself as a person.

It's had been months since Allan passed. Isabella never took her time to clear her thoughts, never took her time to mourn properly. She didn't talk to anyone about him, she didn't tell anyone about him, she didn't cry in front of people. No, she scared them instead. She drank large amounts every night. She had rows, fights, arguments and disagreements with anyone and almost everyone who was larger than herself. It was as if she wanted to get hurt. Her family and friends watched as she started to fade into nothing.

Was it really enough that she claimed she felt no pain? Did people believe her when she told them she was fine? Was she really that great at acting that no one ever worried? No.

Everyone was scared, not only for her, but for her child.

Scarlet, reaching 7 years of age. Lost her father. Is losing her mother. Feels lost herself.

How can a child so young grow into a world like this? It's not as if she didn't understand. Because she did. She knew that she wouldn't hug her father ever again. She knew that she wouldn't get a hug from her mother any time soon. She also knew she would never let go of Allan. She knew his favorite colour was blue. She knew his favorite song was 'Clocks' by 'Coldplay'. She knew that in the morning he would sit in the stool closest to the window, pull out a cigarette and smoke it. She knew that he would then make coffee, read the newspaper and go to work. She knew that she would remember him forever.

It was 12pm before Scarlet felt safe to go into the kitchen. With the remains of a mother who had been drunk last night. She was scared and walked cautiously.

She had a head full of questions but she kept them all to herself. She didn't say anything. She slowly used one shaky hand to grab a box of cereal and then used to other to open the fridge and take out some milk. She settled into a stool with a bit more confidence, and started pouring milk into the bowl. She then added a spoonful of sugar. Mixed the milk and added some cereal.

She picked up a shiny spoon, used it as a mirror to smile at herself, then she dug into the cereal and ignoring her mother she ate every last cheerio hoop.

-Eggy Mayers, wanna be writer.

Close To You

2009-01-23T16:58:00.011Z

I just wanted to open my blog with some song lyrics.

Maybe it will tell you a bit about what kind of music I like. Maybe not.

Either way, I'm posting it, and I never told you that you had to read them.

Let me introduce this song.

It's one of my favorite songs for a long time now.

Although for many years I never knew the name of it, only the tune.

This song is called 'Close To You' by the 'Carpenters'.

Here is the song!

Why do birds suddenly appear

Every time you are near?

Just like me, they long to be Close to you.

Why do stars fall down from the sky

Every time you walk by?

Just like me, they long to be

Close to you.

On the day that you were born

The angels got together

And decided to create a dream come true

So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold

And starlight in your eyes of blue.

That is why all the girls in town

Follow you all around.

Just like me, they long to be

Close to you.

On the day that you were born

The angels got together

And decided to create a dream come true

So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold

And starlight in your eyes of blue.

That is why all the girls in town

Follow you all around.

Just like me, they long to be

Close to you. Just like me (Just like me)

They long to be Close to you.

Wahhhhhhhhhhh, close to you.

Wahhhhhhhhhhh, close to you.

Hahhhhhhhhhhh, close to you.

Lahhhhhhhhhhh, close to you.

-Eggy Mayers, wanna be writer.